How can leaders transform disagreement into collaboration?
In this episode of the Strategy and Leadership Podcast, Anthony Taylor sits down with Bob Bordone, USA Today Bestselling Author, Senior Fellow at Harvard Law School, and one of the nation’s leading experts on negotiation and conflict resolution.
Bob’s new book, Conflict Resilience, co-authored with a neuroscientist, explores a groundbreaking approach to working through differences without sacrificing relationships, values, or results. He shares how leaders can retrain their brains, build psychological safety, and use conflict as a source of creativity and connection inside their organizations.
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Key Topics Covered
- Why “conflict resilience” is replacing “conflict avoidance” as a core leadership skill
- How neuroscience explains our instinctive reactions to disagreement
- The “Five F’s” of conflict: fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and fester
- How leaders can reframe conflict as an opportunity
- What organizations can learn from building psychologically safe cultures
Reframing Conflict as Opportunity
Many organizations still treat conflict as something to avoid—but according to Bob, that mindset limits innovation and trust.
“Conflict actually provides opportunities for innovation, for creativity. Conflict is good when it’s well handled.”
Instead of suppressing disagreement, leaders can reframe conflict as a natural and necessary part of growth. When managed well, it leads to stronger relationships and more original thinking across teams.
Bob encourages leaders to see conflict as a skill to practice, not a problem to solve. Like any muscle, resilience builds through discomfort, repetition, and learning.
The Neuroscience Behind Conflict
Conflict isn’t just emotional—it’s biological.
Bob explains that our brains are “not fully updated” for the modern workplace. They still perceive conflict as a survival threat, triggering what he calls the Five F’s: fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and fester.
“We experience conflict sometimes as an existential threat. The brain immediately then tries to move us to a place of more comfort.”
Recognizing these automatic responses helps leaders regulate emotion and stay engaged, even in difficult conversations.
Building Conflict Resilience in Teams
Developing resilience isn’t about eliminating conflict—it’s about learning to recover faster and respond with curiosity instead of fear.
“The amazing thing about our brains is that they are retraining, but they are like any other kind of muscle that we have.”
For leaders, that means practicing small acts of courage—raising a concern, asking for feedback, or listening without defensiveness. Over time, these small stretches strengthen a team’s capacity to handle pressure and disagreement constructively.
Bob also emphasizes the importance of psychological safety. Skills alone aren’t enough; organizations must design systems and cultures that support open dialogue and model healthy disagreement.
Beyond the Workplace: Conflict as Connection
While much of Bob’s work focuses on organizations, his message applies to personal life as well.
“We think not bringing up the hard topics preserves relationships. But year after year, that becomes the slow kill.”
Avoiding tough conversations might feel safe in the short term, but over time it erodes connection. Whether at work or home, conflict is an investment in relationships—a way to deepen understanding and build trust through honest dialogue.
“Conflict is an opportunity for connection, for innovation, for growth.”
— Bob Bordone, Harvard Law School
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If you’re ready to strengthen communication, improve team trust, and align your organization around a shared vision—SME Strategy can help.
Work with us to facilitate your next strategic plan:
https://courses.smestrategy.net/courses/Leading-Strategy-Execution
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About the Guest
Bob Bordone is a USA Today Bestselling Author, Senior Fellow at Harvard Law School, and nationally recognized conflict resolution expert. He founded Harvard’s Negotiation and Mediation Clinic and has taught negotiation and conflict management for over two decades. His new book, Conflict Resilience, co-authored with a neuroscientist, provides a practical, research-backed guide to navigating tough conversations and leading across divides.
Learn more: www.conflictresiliencebook.com
Connect with Bob on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/robert-bordone-3a3256
Podcast produced by: Rednyne Productions
